My love of complaining officially began when I was stuck at home while recovering from an ankle reconstruction and very poor as a result. I’d bought a bottle of coke which, though sealed, was flat. My friend was there at the time and said “you could complain about that you know” – and a new passion was born. Suddenly it became a competition between myself and my friend, seeing how many free products we could be mailed as a result of our complaints.
Ah, youth. The race became tiresome after some time and we stopped, but I’ll always remember the guilty joy of opening a package full of large packets of chips, sent to you because you’d complained about packets of chips “Just not having the same amount of chips they used to…”
Since those early days, I have held the other end of the stick – filling various positions where recieving complaints are a daily occurance. Though it’s an often annoying job, it can also be quite hilarious.
Complaining is the background of modern society. I love doing it, you love doing it and this is the blog where the best complaints can find their home.
This blog is for all those working in complaints, for all those who love to make complaints or even hate it.
If you have a complaint in your hot little hands that gave you a giggle, send them along via the submit page.
Happy complaining!
Pen Wars - The Complaints Blog 
Dear Pen Wars,
It is Friday afternoon, exactly 2:56pm… to be exact. I sit at my wide screen monitor, who’s massive dimensions and strategic placement prevents anyone from seeing the content on which I’m working, nor see if I am infact behind it.
My boss has stepped outside for a ‘meeting’ which I know (from listening to her phone conversations) is actually coffee with a friend. And my workload contains nothing of too much urgency.
YES, I think, this gives me ample time to catch up with a dear friend.
I go to my internet favourites folder, begin my reading, and am overjoyed with the content and the cynical emotional responses I am having.
Periods? Awesome! Adobe? Fantasic!
However, only three entries in I realise all this content seems a little too familure. A hot and sticky wave of de-ja-vu sweeps over me.
Plagiarist! I shout – which gets my collegues a little too excited (I work at SydUni, and the word carries as much excitement, but in turn empty promise, as “Haneef” does to an ASIO officer.) I stand up and throw my fist down on my desk!
But then, No, I am wrong. You have not taken this from another blogger of the same intelligence and wit, some complaint super droid of unthinkable whinge capacity. You are not a Plaiarist at all… you are simply slow! Slow and Lazy!
I have not visited your site in weeks and yet when I return, salivating, & yearning, with a bulging complaint erection, I get a petty two new entries?
Shame, Pen Wars, Shame.
How can such an envious rookie-complainer as myself fully grasp the complex and multi-faceted world of the professional whinger when I have no material from which to learn. You my’dear, are what I term a whinging cock tease.
Please, increase the frequency of your entries so that I, the apprentice, may one day elevate myself to master. Please continue your efforts to build us a complaint Mecca.
I shall return, dear heart, in due course, and I TRUST that in such time you shall have found the best, the most sarcastic, the most cynical, the creme-de-la-creme of complaints, or I may be forced, dear friend… to write a letter of complaint.
Yours in training,
Dave
This comment is so very incredibly long and involved that I just had to approve and reply. I’m a very bad person and need to go forth and find a good bank of content. My apologies sir, though your complaint letters are always welcome.
It’s a chicken and egg situation.
Though the lulz will hopefully continue with full and unyielding force on into the future.