Tag Archives: Missssspelt

The Linguistic Atrocity

Today’s complaint comes from Charlotte in Sydney and I’ll let her do the talking, because, quite frankly – she does it so very well:

I manage a Japanese goods store – the type that most people may be familiar with – we sell things like stationery, toys, bags and similar things from Japan. Many of these items are hilarious because of their poor English. The two types of people that come into this store are either ex-pats wanting something to remind them of home, or Australians who just find the products funny.

This is fine with me; I find them funny as well. We had this particularly ‘engrish’ bag in stock that sold quite quickly (photo attached)  – though about a week later – we received this email:

USE THIS WEBSITE TO TRANSLATE: http://babelfish.yahoo.com/


I have linked you to this website because I think it’s very important that you understand what I’m writing. A friend of mine recently gave me a bag from your store as a ‘funny’ gift. I have to say, I most certainly did not laugh.

It was a bag with a smiling red dog on the front with the absolutely nonsensical words:

“No objcction”

and then underneath that:

“I beard chiece’s
a big patty
tonsgot Sourds
The too doesn’s
Its Let’s go out”

I think I speak for everyone in the English speaking world when I say – what on earth do you think you’re trying to communicate? I am a high school English teacher and I take offence to this item not only being displayed, but sold in Australia. A linguistic atrocity has been committed here.

What will children passing by think? That this is how you should speak? I certainly hope not – because it will be community leaders like me that will have to pick up the pieces.

I am willing to sacrifice my time to teach your staff English, you need only ask. Beyond that, there are so very many places where you can learn to speak English in Sydney for free – I implore you all to take up that opportunity. I have been into your shop since and I am also willing to come into your shop one evening to tell you which of your products are incorrect, which, I am sad to say is the vast majority.

I hope that this email will not only assist you to make your success in our country – but assist all those that your products have misled into speaking improperly.

Charlotte continues:

It’s with deep regret that I have to decline her offer to not only patronise me and my staff with her English lessons, but also for her to come in and strip my store of all its products. It just so happens that I was born in Australia and learnt English in primary school and from my parents like everyone else.

Now that I can not only speak English and Japanese – but am almost fluent in French, I’ll be happy to offer my staff any linguistic assistance they may need – which is none, as they can all speak English also.

Wow… Charlotte. That’s amazing. That’s unbelievable.

That’s… um… I’m, really sorry…

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Filed under Misc. Products

The screen is just not enough

Some ads are offensive, some ads are shocking, and some ads are gross.  Though as we move on to the different levels of desensitisation in our society, advertising agencies have to go further and further into the sick sad areas of their brains to keep us interested.

The best news about this is that this brings the crazy complainers out of the woodwork. My favourite bit about this, is that for some reason these people are fond of punctuation and caps lock – yet seem to be allergic to spell check.

Today’s complaint comes from the Advertising Standards Bureau, who is keeping their complainant anonymous after dismissing their case regarding this ad:

Which to be honest, I think is gross but very clever. However (let’s call them ‘discusted in WA’) not only doesn’t like it, but seems to gradually lose control of their emotions and then ends it composed, yet misspelled:

It’s unnecesary to be so graphic. It’s totally discusting, nauseating and offensive.
This ad makes me and my family and i’m sure many other people fisically sick, the first time i saw it i was eating dinner and couldn’t eat anymore. Everytime it comes on we switch the channel.
Do you think it’s good to have a child sneeze in your face as you are just sitting down to dinner? I have never seen anything so disgusting.
It is not necessary to show such a REVOLTING and DISCUSTING thing on TV to advertize the fact that people need to have the flu vaccine. Who in their right minds wants to see runny green mucus running down a pain of glass ??? Especially when it is dinner time ?

It is repulsive to watch with phlem on the screen.

Well, ‘discusted in WA’ – no one in their right mind wants to see runny green mucus running down a pane of glass, but something tells me that’s the point.

Who wants to see crash victims sprawled on the road, a brain getting cut in half or especially bright lights and colours on your screen at 1am with a crazy man screaming “COME IN FOR ONE DAY ONLY!!!!!! ONE DAY ONLY!!!! CRAAAAAZY PRICES!!”

The answer is no one. So the plan of action is to maybe find something else to do while you’re eating dinner, like, say… speaking with your family. Then to the serious business of putting a current version of Word with spell check on your Christmas list this year and removing your shift key. Good luck with that.

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Filed under Advertising